Shana's Story

Shana's Story

This is Shana and this is #herstory. At the age of 10, my parents separated following the death of my paternal grandmother. Prior to, I witnessed my father physically abuse my mother in the presence of my brother and I. At age 22, I entered a mentally , physically and abusive relationship with a man that used mind control to manipulate me in many ways. Furthermore, this man forced me to have an abortion when he found out that I was pregnant. One night during a drunken rant, I was beat to the ground and thought I was going to die. As I wept on my knees that night, God whispered to me “you are better than this, you will be okay”. Failing to leave the relationship the first time I was physically assaulted, I felt guilt as I hid my then boyfriend from my family and friends. One night, I went to a club and my partner followed me there. All night he danced with several women but then became enraged when he saw me dance with someone other than him. He then threw a drink in my face and humiliated me in front of my friends. That was the last straw. I prayed that God would send me a God fearing man that would love him first and love and respect me second. I met my soon to be ex-husband in December 2011. Frightened and hesitant at first thinking, “Oh no, not another Que (frat), they are all the same”. Though I wanted confirmation from God that this was the husband he sent for me, I jumped the gun and married him within one and a half years. I ignored all the Red flags while I was engaged, included late nights out (if he came in at all), mental and emotional abuse, neglect of me and my child as well as physical abuse. Upon our separation, my then spouse, had my child and I evicted from our home in the dead of winter and would not provide me with our clothes. In the midst of it all, I also broke my arm trying to save my daughter from falling down the steps and seeing as though my job was a contract position, I took several weeks off of work unpaid. I could have lost my house. I suddenly accrued all the bills without the help of my partner. Furthermore, the father of my child didn’t offer me penny for child support within 4-6 weeks following our separation. Now accruing court fees, attorney fees as well as mortgage, car note daycare and so on, I said to God, “how much trauma can one take Lord”? In that moment I realized why my marriage failed...because God wasn’t in the center. The Bible says,” a cord of three strands is not easily broken”. My heart skipped a beat when I heard God speak that scripture to me, the same verse I spoke in my wedding vows”. See, God gives us experiences in life to build our faith and have a testimony to strengthen others. Through the pain and healing of my divorce, I have grown closer to God and daily I take a walk with him at the start and end of my day. Prayer is a ritual in my household. Through the storm, God is pouring into me through a book that I’m writing entitled “God and Marriage” as well as the birth of a women’s ministry that addresses life after divorce. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! To all my beautiful,strong women, keep God first and everything else will fall into place :):)Thats #herstory so what’s yours ?

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