This is Annette and this is Her Story . Sometimes, I forget that I have a testimony. It is so easy to look at my life and where I am today today, without thinking about the journey that it took to get there. Growing up, I was always the super bubbly person at school with lots of personality and lots of friends. But at home, my sister and I were starved, manipulated and abused verbally, mentally and physically by my stepfather. The kicker was, my mother knew all about it and never didn't anything to stop it.
This caused me to believe in dysfunction. Dysfunction was normal to me. So much so, in my first serious relationship of about 4 years, I allowed some of the same dysfunction to control and manipulate me in the name of love. I was so brainwashed to believe that being in a controlling relationship was normal and how things were supposed to be, because that is what I was exposed to growing up. No matter how much people tried to tell me it wasn't normal, I couldn't believe otherwise.
It took me graduating from graduate school and moving to Florida for me to learn about my true identity in Christ, which helped me to see myself the way God saw me...temporarily.
I wish I could say that I walked firmly with this new revelation. But I still looked for love in all the wrong places, allowing myself to be used and taken for granted by multiple people. And I even found my way back to my ex-boyfriend, only to be manipulated once again.
So in 2012, my sister and I wrote Iyanla Vanzant. We were both tired of being bitter and resentful about our childhood and the impact that it was having on our life. God opened the door and we appeared on "Iyanla, Fix My Life" with our mother. That was the first time that I actually confronted the pain from my childhood! It was so painful, yet the most liberating thing that I have ever done and a necessary step on my journey.
At the end of the show, Iyanla said to me "What if your soul was just waiting to be clear? What if your children's souls were just waiting to be clear?" See, I had a lot of cleaning up to do within so before I could meet my husband and be ready to receive his love, I had to revisit the darkest chapters of my life, do the work and allow God to deliver me from my past! Less than a year later, I moved to Philadelphia. 6 months after the move, I met my wonderful husband, Marion. Even with what Iyanla said about my children, I was scared to become a mother because I was afraid...afraid of not having the tools to be a good mom. Afraid of passing on the same generational curse. But God slowly turned my fear into anticipation and today, we are expecting our first child in July! God is so good!
My life is a living testimony of God giving us a crown of beauty for ashes and double for our trouble! I'm thankful that I don't look like what I have been through and for that reason, God will forever get the glory from my life! That’s #herstory so what yours ?